Sunday, April 18, 2010

I am feeling,I odn't know. Just blah tonight. I mean over all pretty decent. I have had an exciting week with work and exercise actually so not so sure why so blah. I played in our first co-ed softball game today of the season. We lost very enthusiasticly 20-5. ouch. I am on 2 teams so an hour after that we had a practice for the other and I am determiend to convince myself I lost at least 2 good pounds from all the sweating and running. Oh, my period started!!!! I was sooo excited to see that. I was beginning to worry about it getting too far off track again which would make it nearly impossible to try to conceive at home at all. Not that I am so sure we can do it without our special doc, however, I want to opportunity to try. Maybe the blah is some poor news for my mom. She is 53 years old and she and my stepdad are trying to adopt. The Haiti earthquake has sent her into a "save the children" mode and she is crusading through every adoption agency possible until she is approved to adopt. She is not looking for a specific "kind of kid". Meaning, she doesn't have to only save international children, or just American kids, she is an equal opportunity adopter! lol However, a child in desperate need of love they found in Honduras was yanked from hospital from his Mom and they don't believe she will be able to nurse him to health. So we are all praying for this child that his Mom can pull through for him or return him if she can't. But, Mom is a great mom. matter the child, younger or older, she will be prefect for him or her and i have no doubt about it. This was a weird tale of information tonight for this must be my blah

Friday, April 9, 2010

PCOS strikes again!

All my life I have been fit and fairly active. I haven't had any problems with weight, although if you had asked me if I do have weight problems when I was a teenager I would bet my life that I was over weight! lol But I wasn't, I was thin and just self consious. As an adult in my 20's I have loved my size and even felt comfortable when I gained 20 pounds. I felt I looked a little curvier and even sexier, but now with an additonal 25 pounds on that, not so much anymore! I feel bloated and exhausted and like I can't stop gaining weight! Well, this is because until recently, I wasn't effected by my PCOS in terms of weight, just sugar and infertility. Now....its my weight too. I just want to cry. I had my first period on Feb. 8th since deciding to take a break on getting pregnant. My period never started again so after 3 negative pregos test I called the doc and they prescribed a couple tests. My doc just called a couple days ago and said I had just ovulated 5 - 10 days ago! What! My period was almost 2 months ago! Well, silly me I didn't connect the dots. My sugar levels have been fluctuating every single day for 2 months and my weight has been scalling rapidly around 2 pounds a week and my period didn't start. The normal effects of PCOS..Polycystic Ovaries Syndrom. I just never really cared about regulating my period until the last 2 years as we have been trying to conceive and just thought my weight gain was because of the winter and me being lazy (still need to work out more) but really, 2 pounds a week is a little ridiculous for someone who has a fairly active lifestyle. It just sucks. So now, I feel a little more hopeless about becoming pregnant and keeping the pregnancy. I felt so confident we could before, but I also didn't get this HUGE effect from PCOS before either. ( Big sigh) what do you do. We just bought a treadmill a couple weeks ago. I get on it about every other day for a half hour and that feels good and I am back on Formetin and not metformin (I hated that stuff) and hopefully we will see how this goes. But....looks less and less like we will be parents. My hubby and I have considered adoption. I'm all in, he's on the fence. So until he gets off the fence and jumps in my is what it is. I refuse to convince him to do it, he needs to come to that conclusion on his on. We always agreed we both have to be 100% commited or we are 100% aren't doing it, what ever it would come to be. In this case, baby. By the way, Mother in law is having another crisis. This time it is valid but does it matter anymore? I want her happy but not at our expense anymore.