7 Days to Retrieval

I can NOT believe it is now 7 days to this ovaries get emptied! Phew. Unreal to me. Y days they take out so many eggs and one of them could be my child. That is the strangest feeling to know that a tube will hold my future. I wonder if we should take a before and after picture? It will be roughly 10 days until they insert a fertilized egg back in so we we could take a photo right before they do it- ya know a not pregnant photo and then right afterwards a pregnant photo. Not too many people can joke that they knew which minute of the day they conceived, but we will. Just kinda funny to me. Ah well...

It has begun....wow

We went for orientation on Monday to figure out what the layout and dates of invitro would look like. Our cordinator flew threw all the meds like a pro. I just felt like my jaw had dropped to the floor! There were SO MANY. I guess I never put much thought into how much more involved it is then IUI (artificial insemination). I honestly didn't mind just walking a long...doh de doh, thinking it would be a breeze. It is not, at all. We already started some of the meds on that day in the office. The different types of meds will continue for the next 45 days ish. I am amazed a slightly in awe of keeping everything straight. I have given myself my shot these last 2 days. This is a HUGE triumph for me. I hate shots and the first and only time I tried it was a mess. My husband eventually had to come up stairs to help only to find my abdomen bleeding from 6 different puncture wounds from me "trying" to insert the needle. Didn't go so well I can say. So this time I figured, own it girl! This is the last of all of this so own as much of the shots as I can for the next month or so. It wasn't so bad, but not to discredit my new found purpose, these are the really tiny needles. The really long thicker ones I will be back to being a wimp I'm sure. Oh well. Man, I AM EXCITED!

Orientation on Monday!

Oooooohhh,the begining is near! Monday is our orientation for Invitro. I have already started taking birth control to set the periods up but I feel....eh. I am sooooo tired I wanted to sleep on rocks I pass by because they just look so comfortable. I need sleep! Kicker.... I get 10 hours a night, interruppeted by my snoring, but none the less 10 hours. I'm excited, anxious and nervous all in one. But, here we go.

where we are now...

One year ago the decision was to stop all fertility treatments and take a break...this months marks the end of that quest. It's been a very long year. I did pretty darn good with not getting real worked up with our struggle. Maybe just a few moments that I just needed to shed a few tears of "whoa is me" and then moved on. Not that bad in all. I think the worst minor meltdown was at the family Christmas party when my mother in law got so excited about all the kids opening their giftbags she put togther that she exclaimed to me "Oh you just need to hurry up and get me a grandchild." Tiger, that one was about a half our in the bathroom crying my eyes out! But, it wasn't meant to hurt me, she just had a moment of unbridled excitment...and not thinking.
So what's been going on with us, it's time to talk baby! We are set up to do invitro in the next 60 days. Our first pre-testing for a period starts in 2 weeks and from there, I can only assume it will get hectic with all the appointments and trips that need to be taken to make this a reality. Our fertility specialist has 2 offices, one in my town and one almost 2 hours away. Just so happens he does the retrieval process at the facility 2 hours away. So we will have 2 or 3 trips there and then the rest can be monitored from here in town. Today I am excited. Tomorrow I hope to still be excited. Taking this day by day until it occurs. As it approaches my anxiety increases. Thoughts flood my brain until I feel exhausted from just pondering. "Will this work?" "Will it work the first time?" "Did I do everything I could over the past year to help us make a baby so we didn't have to pay 12 thousand dollars to do this?" Even, "is it worth it?" If we get pregnant, then heck yeah it will be worth it, but what if we don't, then will I think about it as wasting $12,000? I don't want to be left empty handed. If this doesn't work we have considered adoption again. I think my husband is pretty on board if this doesn't take but then we are looking at another $20,000 for that. You have to wonder at which point is the financial burden too much. I don't want to get to that point. So, Today, I am excited. I hope to be excited tomorrow too. This was a pretty good update for a year in waiting.