Green eyed monster....

Alrighty here it is, the ugly truth...I am jealous. I just got word a friend of mine is 5 weeks pregos. Truely happy for her, but they have 1 beautiful little girl and have been trying for 4 months for another and wham..here it is. Also, my very best friend who became wonderfully accidentally pregnant by her husband is in the beginning stages of labor. Just makes me want is all. I haven't felt this twinge yet and I'm uncomfortable that I feel jealous but by no means do I owe myself an apology either. Screw that. If anything I deserve to have this feeling after everything we have been through. You know on one side.....I actually am okay with the wait because I do believe at some point we will have a child. It may be through adoption or with assistance or who knows even naturally. I am enjoying the time with my husband and my doggies (who are like my babies..truely they are.) and some freedom to go and do what we like and the coveted sleeping in. So for that part its okay that we may have to wait. But for the hugs and funny peeing on us moments, giggles, diaper triumphs and failures, crawling, walking,learning, detentions, dating and watching this person grow up, its exciting to think of having that now not later....but we wait. Whhhhwww..(sigh)